I am at my lowest and I am realizing that only God can help me… I am hurting DEEPLY.. I am tired of feeling the same way that I have felt for these 26 years of my life.. I dont feel qualified… I feel like I am at the bottom of the pail. I feel like I am always putting my best foot forward; I press so hard to keep my word and integrity… but when the tables are turned I feel that I’m forgotten… that’s the best way I could put it… I feel forgotten… I put myself out there only to be ignored… only to be hurt again.. This hurt feels as if it’s too much for me to bear… And I dont feel like doing anything.. Honestly… I know that I cant give up but at the same time I am tired of being hurt… I am tired of doing the right thing only to feel like I’m being taken advantage of…This is how I feel. And yes I understand that this post is all about me but this has been happening so long and ignored so long that now I feel that I cannot handle it. So, Lord I ask that you help me. Help me to no longer be a captive of my thoughts… Remove all bitterness, anger and past (& current) hurt from my heart so that You can use me… I dedicate each step, each decision of my life to You… I will not expect anything from anyone… But my expectation rests in You… Lord please forgive me of placing idols in my life… Forgive me for not having the right mind and focus… Forgive me for not seeking your kingdom… Forgive me for giving in to the hype of a situation… forgive me of not representing You honorably… forgive me of hurting your chosen ones… please have mercy on my life… please forgive me for not loving You and others how you commanded us to… I pray that You give me the strength to stand strong in all situations.. I pray strength even now… Lord thank You that You chose me to be Your child… thank You for always abiding in me… thank You for never leaving me.. I pray for new insights and ideas… As you have changed my vision I pray that You tune my ears only to You so that what I see lines up with what You’re saying and expecting of me… My dependency is in You…

Yes, I did what most ministers would not do… I’m real with yall… And every bit of what I said was true.. I did it so that you all would realize that even when you’ve reached your lowest, God is still available… As a matter of fact, He’s waiting…. on YOU.

I’m going to leave you with this scripture: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 NIV)

With Love,
TiffiBee

Teens ages 13 - 18, Join us Sunday, January 27 at 5pm!!!

Hey Ladies and Gents-

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I’ve been updating my blogs on blogspot (tiffibee.blogspot.com). Take a look when you have a moment. Since my last posting I have launched a mentorship program through the current church I attend, Christian Harvesters Fellowship. The mentorship program is called iHeart; an acronym for i Hold Expectations According to Righteous Teaching. I am blessed to be under leadership that see my potential and push me to fulfilling it; even when I do not see it.

You know it’s easy to become defensive when you feel people have the wrong idea about you. Truth is, they may not be accusing you of anything… Maybe they’e just trying to get clarity of who you are…

During these past years, I’ve learned to trust God. And through trusting God, I have been hurt many times… I was hurt because I was open and vulnerable. It hurt like crazy to feel used, mistreated and taken advantage of. IT HURTS! But I consider them growing pains… and my growing pains have broght me closer to God. While hurting, realized that the task of sharing the gospel does not end. People still need to hear God’s heart.

So, now I can see a better me… Don’t get it twisted, God is still molding me.. but I am a much better person and in a much better spot since the last time I made a post here. And I thank God, my leaders and my family for being used by God and helping me during such difficult and uncertain times.

Hallelujah to the Lamb. God be glorified.

Until next time.. be Blessed.

Much love

My prayer: Lord help us… Lord help us to get outa ourselves long enough to realize thr suffertimg n pain of others… Being us to our knees… Let us be found pleasing in Your sight. Let us have the faith to come outa our mess n which will release us to share our faith with others… Help us to realize that we arent the only ones hurting but if we come together on one accord with one mind to let Gods presence come in n fix n release our pain we can move n show our faith to others ….

Time for us to get out of boundage, n wats holding us down n start turning our pain into evidence that God is still able… That He loves us that much to not care wat we’vr done n wat transpired… But at this moment He wants us to Love Him Back…. Thats wat He wants… Love Him Back…. He wants better for us.

So Lord i pray that You give us a mindset to show THE better to others… For Your Sake…. Help us to show not get so caught up in our lives that we forget to shoe them THE Better…

In Jesus Name, Amen..

I challenge u to pray this prayer to simply show them the greater God has… N ill do the same. :-)

Do u have real friends or do u just enjoy the presence of groupies? Let me explain. Real friends will always watch out for u n do not support everything if its not good for YOU. Groupies support u no matter what. Even if ut destroys ur reputation or better yet YOU.. Real Friends help birth ur destiny and goals in life. Groupies love that u share ur destiny n goals with them but its more important to them that u like them and they secure a permanent spot in YOUR inner circle. Groupies will never tell you “that was wrong” because that jeopardizes their relationship with YOU. Real Friends realize that at the end of it all (disagreements, whatnot) yall will STILL be friends, bc thru the disagreements YOU’VE learned to appreciate each other..Groupies dont realize that because if the insecurity of them losing YOU. What im trying to say is YOU have control over YOUR life; its YOUR choice to decide who enters….One can birth Destiny while the other has the ability to bring Death…

(To Be Continued)

Destiny vs. Death Real Friends vs. Groupies

I’m a F.B.I. Agent; I Fight Back Invaders!

The FBI – they are what we know to be an agency that investigates federal crime on all different levels. Their main priority is to protect and defend against terrorists and to uphold and enforce laws. They also provide leadership to other federal & state agencies. So, their duties are to PROTECT, DEFEND, UPHOLD, ENFORCE, and LEAD. To protect means to defend or guard from attack, invasion, loss or annoyance. FBI agents have different levels of responsibility of protecting and combating against criminals and invaders. I believe that the Lord has given us the power to protect and guard our own lives as well as others.

There are some battles that we are experiencing or have experienced where we feel that we no longer have control. We feel like we’ll never get over or it seems like it will never end. We just feel hopeless and ready to throw in the towel….not just talking about throwing in the towel, but we’re ready to do it. Well, these are just feelings and emotions that the enemy is using against us for his attack. Most people don’t take the time to realize that it’s an attack and instead of fighting back they sit in their feelings and become weaker, which sometimes can lead to suicide… it happens.

Please realize that these feelings and emotions are invaders, and it’s your job to protect and guard your temple.

Ephesians 6: 10-18 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people

Very popular scripture; It says to put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes. Verse 18 says to pray on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be ALERT and always keep on praying… Earlier, I mentioned that the FBI has different levels of responsibility to protect and defend. This means that they are also aware of the different ways that the enemy could possibly come in to attack. They analyze and take note. We have to learn to be more alert and aware so that we can be prepared when the enemy attacks. The problem nowadays and one reason why people (that are clothe in “armor”) remain confused of why the armor is not working in battle, is that they are not ALERT; yet instead they just obtain the look.. Yes I have my breastplate, yes I have my helmet, yes I have my shield but when invasion comes we don’t know how to apply it!! You must be aware of HOW the enemy attacks. That doesn’t come by just having your sword (your Bible); but you must know how to use it!! In other words, READ your BIBLE!

We have all the right armor and let me tell you some of us look real tough, but when it comes time to fight off them invaders looks won’t cut it! You have to know what, how and when to use it. The Christian body, black church, lacks knowledge on how to apply our weapons in the time of battle. Instead people just tell you: “You’re a Winner,” or “You’re Victorious” and yeah that’s good and encouraging and thank you but the body needs some serious training so that they not only have the look but they also have the knowledge!

Another thing I want to point out is prayer and the army of prayer warriors on your side. In the old testament (2 Chronicles 11), David was going into battle and it comes down to picking the warriors. He understood that he needed warriors that would get him total victory AND not slander his name…. He picked the BEST Mighty Men. It says that one of the men would raise his spear against 800 people and kill them in ONE encounter. This is the kind of warriors that you need; one that comes to get the job done, not one that comes to get in your business… These warriors had the same focus and that was to make David king. When you’re REALLY in a life or death battle, you need not to worry about who’s your friend or who will be hurt if you don’t talk to them; you need to choose people that have your best interest at heart, despite your past or anything else that might play into it.

See past the looks and choose based on performance. Ask yourself, can this person get a prayer thru? Will this person sincerely pray on my behalf? Will this person help me win or is it just another attack from the enemy? You need some mighty warriors like David’s army that can kill many with one encounter! Find people that are and WILL REMAIN focused and fight to win! Not people that say they’re for you but are really only doing it for selfish reasons, such as recognition. There’s no time for small talk and self acknowledgment; there are too many lives and souls being killed. We have to remain consistent in these battles and learn to fight without stopping. The Bible says “Pray without ceasing.”

F. B. I. – Fighting Back Invaders

Invaders just don’t come in to watch you suffer. They come with a mission. The dictionary describes them as entering forcefully as an enemy to take possession. Please realize that when the enemy invades, he doesn’t own; he comes in hoping to own and hoping that you will finally give in. But remember that even when we’re at our weakest moment we STILL possess the power to win!! Why Tiff? Because the Bible tells me that when we’re weak, His strength is made PERFECT!!!! …..the problem is people don’t know how to access His strength… most times we try to take things into our own hands. But lets change that today by learning to depend on the Word of God through Prayer!! God is able to do exceedingly above anything we can EVER ask for!

God allows us to experience these invasions of feelings, emotions, or whatever it may be, so that we have no other choice but to depend on Him. Just when you thought you knew God as a Healer or Provider, He takes you thru something that allows you to see Him at an even DEEPER level..

Life is full of battles at all different intensities. We must always be ready to fight. Don’t only look the part but know the part. Don’t EVER think that you’ve lost or you’re too weak to win because that’s what the invader wants you to think; but instead fight back!! God has given you the power to. You’re too valuable to God to lose. As FBI Agents, we have the responsibility to Protect, Defend, Uphold, Enforce and Lead.

Don’t forget that people are looking at our lives and how we handle certain situations; and they’re watching because our lives are the blueprint to their lives…what I mean is, they may be going thru the same thing and they want to know how to get out… And this is where leading comes in. We are to lead by example.

So, In closing please remember to:

-          Be aware

-          Know your weapons and know how to use them, and

-          Be connected to the right people

God will deliver you! He’s faithful; you just keep fighting!!!God will deliver you! He’s faithful; you just keep fighting!!!

The Fundamentals of Prospering

Psalms 1 - Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

We have a lot of people expecting God to do Great things this year; and it’s primarily because a lot of us had a rough 2010. I’ve had the opportunity to speak to a number of people that have dealt with MANY hardships in 2010 – loss, sickness, death, divorce, no money, and the list goes on and on. I mean, I know that I had a rough 2010 so I’m right there with you. And the Bible speaks of blessing those who endure suffering. We’ve seen it in Job and Romans 8:18 says for the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory that WILL BE revealed to us. But we must understand that we have to not only endure, but we have to also remain faithful to God.

Take a look at the first verse: Blessed is the man who DOES NOT walk in the counsel of the wicked OR STAND in the way of sinners, OR SIT in the seat of mockers. We must realize that our blessing is connected to our obedience AND faithfulness.

The smoke has, somewhat, cleared for a lot of us and we finally feel like we can breathe. And thank God for that feeling; Thank God for Peace. Yet, also be aware that the devil is lurking around waiting for a time to strike and break us down… Which means that because the smoke has cleared that the temptation to slip up may be more accessible… I’m just being real. Let me bring it to reality: After suffering in debt 2010, the Lord has made a way and provided you with a job…not just a job but a GREAT paying job, but you are responsible for paying back taxes. Now in 2011, you finally have some kind of control on your finances. Yet, instead of paying your taxes (come tax time) you would rather have a 60 inch Flat Screen, a motorcycle on the side, and a few extra pairs of shoes and purses to match. Then you want to cry and pray to God when the PoPo is cuffin’ you because you don’t want to go to jail…

Listen, the smoke has cleared, but you got to remember that temptations are always there and that there are consequences that follow… Just because God has given us a little breathing room doesn’t mean that we no longer have to keep watch and be aware of the enemy’s tactics. The scripture says that we must meditate on the Word day and night. And by doing this is builds us up so that we are able to stand our ground and withstand the enemy. We must be faithful…. Fundamentals of Prospering.

Sometimes we can feel run down and drained from trying to do good and remain faithful….

Us: “Lord I’m trying to love my enemy, but she keeps trying me! Why do I have to be the one that keeps the peace??”

OR

“Lord, I’m trying to do what’s right, but why am I still at square one??”

OR

“Lord, I’m trying to do this ministry, but is it really worth it??”

And I’m just keeping it real, because we spend all our lives perfecting “living behind the church mask” and then when we fall, we don’t know how to handle life because our life was centered around the church life and/or church people. Or, like many women, we hide behind the “having it all together” mask. We have this attitude that everything is peachy keen, but the reality of it all is that we’re broken and we may have that feeling of being bound on the inside…

Yes, we’re strong in the Lord, yet the Bible also says in Psalm 34:19 that the righteous has many troubles. And don’t get me wrong God can and will deliver us yet most times we block Him by putting on the mask… When the preacher could be preaching to you and when God wants to deliver you, He’s blocked because “You’re ok.” We put up a wall instead of being honest with ourselves… Honesty brings deliverance…

But anyway, we become run down and drained and want to quit because we feel it’s too much. But we have to pray for a renewed mindset, because it’s not about us or anyone else…it’s about doing His will. Once we start thinking like that then it doesn’t matter what outside pressures come… God requires us to be pleasing to Him. Romans 12:1 says …”Present your bodies as a living sacrifice Holy and Pleasing to God…” We are to be please the Father with our lives and the rest will follow.

Understand that we had to go through hardships so that we could learn to trust and depend on God more. Every event that happens in our life happens with purpose. The problem sets in when we try to choose the direction of our solution. God will guide us. We gain our strength by depending on Him. We’ll be like that tree planted by the water, once we realize that it’s all about Him and that He has our best interest at hand. When you meditate on his Word day and Night, you start to hear Him more, and you realize the Importance of Pleasing Him. THE BIBLE says (Not Tiff) that WHATEVER you do will prosper, if you take delight in these things. As I said in the beginning, this year (2011), a lot of people are expecting great things to happen; and you should be expectant. But here’s the question: What are you doing in the meantime while you wait??

To be honest, we really don’t deserve anything extra… I mean I’m happy with eternal life. And I’m sure that there are a lot of people reading this that agrees with me… yet I have another question for you: Are you living to receive eternal life? There’s black and there’s white and then there’s a new color that the church made up called grey. As I’ve mentioned on facebook, so many people are expecting so much from God but are not willing to do what it takes to get it! God is a giving God and the scripture says that He will not withhold any good thing from His child; but what does your life look like? Your public and hidden life?? And I’m not saying any of this stuff to make anyone feel bad. I’m saying it because #1 – God gave it to me to share. And #2 – I’m saying it so that we can be real with ourselves and raise the standards.

The Christian standards have gotten too low!!! Since when has it been ok for Pastors to cuss in front of select members and then preach on Sundays? Since when is it ok for Gospel Artists to have church functions to raise money for their secular CD? Since when has it been ok to drink yourself into a coma, yet you still have enough insight to lead people? Yes, we all have shortcomings and I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about people that actually do this and find NOTHING wrong with it!

It’s time to come up, seriously. There’s a greater work and just think of how many souls you could have blocked because of your foolishness??? …Think about it… Selah

Do you know who could have been watching you? We have to do better. And I believe that’s what the Lord is saying. He wants to restore (because we’re definitely in that season) but we have to do better.. We cannot accomplish soul winning living a grey life. We all must raise the standards and realize that there’s always room for better!!

So in closing….Fundamentals of Prospering:

                                #1 – Choose ye this day who you will serve

                                #2 – Be honest with yourself (it makes room for deliverance)

                                #3 – Obedience and Faithfulness is the key

I’m going to leave you with two scriptures to meditate on:

Psalm 37: 3-4 - Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Matthew 6:33 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Sometimes I look back over my life and think that it may have been a rush.. And ask the what if? What if I wud have waited for certain things? What if my timing was off? Hmmmm…. Answers i’ll never know..

I guess this is why people say lookn back is hard to do….but what if we changed the perspective??? Hmmm…

What if we realize that without these difficult events we wouldn’t have come this far… smile looking back can be easier with a change of perspective!

So, was my timing right? Who knows?! But I thank God to have timing with purpose!

Wat people dont realize is that wen u tryn to make sumthn happn….ull do wat it takes to make it happn…. U can kinda get thrown off wen u allow ppl to dictate on wat it seems like ur doin nd they have NO IDEA wat u are really doin… Current mood: aggravated but focused…